My Life, My Words
Canadian eh?! By birthright then, it's inherent that I apologize for every real or even perceived mis- step, word, deed, thought... But seriously, enough is enough, right??
Being an independent and strong woman means I control myself. Having a strong moral compass means that I consider how the other person will feel if I say or do something. In fact, most of the time I behave in a way that helps others feel better (at least that's the intention, although sometimes it doesn't work out that way). Doing nice things for others has been a way of life for me for so long and this makes me feel good! I'm not looking for something in return either. But sometimes along the way, I hurt the other person in my attempts to do good things, As soon as I find out about the 'backfire', I guarantee I apologize. Although it's my mantra to do no intentional harm, I'm human and I screw up. When I do, I'll be the first one to apologize for it. And as life sometimes goes, things happen that are beyond my control, and then the Canadian in me takes over and I will apologize.
The following are when an apology is unnecessary.
If you're a HUMAN BEING, pay attention. You'll feel happier and stronger too!
** I'm bothering you... If I want to see or talk to you, I'm going to let you know. This isn't meant as an imposition, rather, it's important to me, for whatever reason, to connect with you, which means you are important to me.
** Being unavailable... Sometimes I am unreachable. Usually this is because I'm focused on something else. If you try to reach me between 5pm and 7am, my phone is on silent and I am detached from the world as much as possible. Sometimes I will check it before I retire, but I prefer to be in my comfort zone for as long as possible, to recharge myself and maintain or regain a little sanity in this crazy world. I'm quite involved in many activities between 7am and 5pm - I accomplish much during these hours, so if I'm not immediately replying to your text or email, or I've missed your call - again, it goes back to me being engaged elsewhere. I'll get back to you ASAP, and thanks for your patience and understanding.
** Being early... I am seldom, if ever, late - for anything... In fact, I'm usually early. In the past, I've often apologized for this faux pas, however I've come to realize that if the other person isn't ready for me, it's okay to have a little time to myself while I wait. HOWEVER, being LATE must ALWAYS be accompanied with an apology and being chronically late is a bad habit to be fixed!
** Saying NO... Healthy boundaries mean you know your limits and assert your right to live within them. Sure, no one want's to be turned down for something they've requested, but I appreciate being turned down much more than being led on. It's always OK to say NO to something that stretches you into a place of discomfort. Try practicing this sentence "No, I'm not able to help you with that." SIMPLE - no excuse needed and no apology attached! Now, go do something you want to say YES to!