The journey of words...
Not a good sign... sigh...
Creating evil, dipping self into a world of darkness, this takes a toll on the soul. The way to 'think' like a sociopath is by touching the shadow side of self - contacting all those vengeful ideas that mulled around in thoughts on occasion when times were tough or people were rough - plotting sinister deeds that would never come to life except in nightmares.
There has to be an antagonist in order for a story to hold the attention of the writer and the reader. The more bad the bad guy is, the more intriguing he is. People read on because they can't believe how low someone can stoop or perhaps because they have given a few moments to thinking like that too. For the most part, humans are good, so when the dark side takes over and behaviours are what most of society deems 'criminal' or 'evil', it's an opportunity to explore places we would never go ourselves.
Perhaps there is a block because I am at a fragile state where the possibility of living in darkness might become my reality. Perhaps but doubtful. I have a very strong conscience that calls me out whenever I entertain thoughts of crossing that line. In fact, there have been a few times in my life where I have tread clumsily in that world which is so unfamiliar to me, and I have paid, dearly, for trespassing. I simply don't belong there and it has cost me in every way - I can't afford to dabble in this which I know nothing about.
So, I sit and stare at the page of script before me. There are words there - and a general idea of how to create this scene. What eludes me is how to bring it all to unfamiliar and treacherous territory... Even muse is elusive for this - she pointed me in this direction but has abandoned me when it comes to filling in the details.
Perhaps this isn't where I'm supposed to go - but then there is nothing further worth entertaining. I'm stubborn enough to refuse to give it all up - I've come so far with this story - it's a great story that simply needs to be stronger in places.
Writing is not for the feint of heart - writing is a personal shtick and even a moment like being at a loss for words helps me grow - test the waters and push myself further into the darkness, knowing that I will come out of it okay and the story will be better for it.
Bringing thoughts to life, one word at a time. Sharing them with you - thanks for reading!.